Who Ate All the Food?
by Writer to the Maximum
Summary: Mysteriously, someone has been breaking into dorm rooms during the night and eating other's food. Kirigiri takes it as another case.


Inhale.

Exhale.

Next day, new case.

A couple mornings ago, we got up to eat breakfast and I went to the dining hall. Most everything was in place, the 76th, 77th, and the 78th class were there. The only issue was a particular student from our class. Celestia Ludenberg. She was enraged. Someone had eaten her…how did she put it…'Heavenly Sugared Beauty Macarons'.

Never before have I seen Celes so angered. She flew into a flurry and started destroying various objects in the common room and cafeteria when the food didn't meet her expectations. She vowed to find the person who took them from her and murder them the next chance she had.

(That would not make for a very interesting investigation.)

Now, things like this were normal. Someone does something idiotic, someone else gets mad. It's what happens when you shove a bunch of high-schoolers in a dorm.

At the time, I thought little of it, until the next day, a similar issue took place. However, Asahina was in tears. She cradled herself in Oogami's arms, her tears spilling about.

"My doughnuts! My doughnuts! They're gone!" She looked up at her friend. "Sakura-chan? What do I do?"

Oogami patted her head.

"It's alright. We can get you some more."

Something so small, so inconsequential. Who had caused such a trivial thing?

Two events in a row, although so similar, normally do not draw my suspicion.

However, today, there was yet another case of food gone missing. This time, it was one of the 77th students. It was a childish looking girl, her name is Hiyoko Saionji. She was pounding her foot on the back of another student of the 77th class, Mikan Tsumiki.

"Pig Barf! I can't believe you went to my room and ate all my candy! What the hell!"

"B-B-But…I didn't do it!"

"Yeah right!"

"I-I-I'm sorry!"

"You should be!"

At this very moment, I realized what had to be done.

An investigation.

I went to the first victim's dorm in order to see the damages and assess any evidence. Celes was more than happy to let me look at the scene of the crime. She knew my reputation was very solid and knew that if someone figured out who it was, I was the one to do it.

She took me over to a small display where it was obvious that there was some sort of pastry on at some point.

"I left the evidence untouched for you, as I figured you'd want to look at it at some point, Kirigiri-san."

I brushed past her, completely ignoring any snide remarks she may have made.

I examined the scene of the crime.

There was a glass lid, shattered onto the countertop. The tray where the macarons were held also seems toppled over. It is as if someone swiped it with their arm, perhaps in a daze or accidentally. They weren't intending to do this secretly.

"Celes. When did the glass shatter?"

"Well, I wasn't back here, although it was rather late at night. When I came back, it was like this."

"I see. What about your roomate?"

"Maizono-san? I don't know. I don't keep track of imbeciles."

Maizono burst out of the bedroom with a loud thump.

"I heard that.", she spouted, angrily. She noticed my presence. "You got Kirigiri-san to check your stupid macarons?" She looked at me again. "No offense to you Kirigiri-san."

"None taken. Actually, Maizono-san, where were you when this event took place?"

"Well, I have a concert coming up, so I need all the sleep I can get."

"Is that so…" I turned to Celes. "Well, I think that's it for the investigation."

I stood up to leave and on my way to the door, I found a toppled over vial case. This could be important.

I think I've gained enough information there.

Onto the next.

I knocked onto the door. A small Aoi Asahina promptly opened it up.

"Kirigiri-chan? Do you need anything?"

I pushed my way through.

"Yes. I heard your doughnuts have gone missing."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that, Kirigiri-chan. Sakura-chan already got me some new ones!"

"I'm not concerned about that. There has been a food thief and I seek to rat them out."

"Of course!" She smacked her head. "How could I forget that you're the Ultimate Detective?" She became sheepish rather quickly. "Although, I'm afraid I already threw the box out."

"That is alright. Could you describe the circumstances?"

"Well, the box kinda looked a bit destroyed, like some big animal tore right through it. Frosting was everywhere. I ate it later." (Gross.) "There was something strange in the box. Hm…What was it?" She pressed her fist against her palm. "Yeah, it was like water droplets. Sweat? I don't know."

Perhaps the person was soaked with water, or perhaps they were exerting themselves. Or maybe they were crying? For now, I cannot tell.

"I also found this sock on the floor. Here, let me get it."

She ran back and retrieved a bluish sock that probably goes with sleepwear.

"Here ya' go."

She handed it to me. It stunk.

"…Thanks."

(Well, not any worse than touching a dead body.)

"What about your roomate? Where was she?"

"Ikusaba-chan? She rarely stays here. She's always is out seeing her sister, so I assume she was there."

"I see."

Well, I think that's all the evidence I can gather from her.

I've already narrowed down my suspects a bit.

Once I question Hiyoko Saionji, then I'll have enough evidence to declare a suspect. I've narrowed it down quite a bit, already, considering the information I have.

I knocked on the third and final door. The one to open it was not Saionji, but a pink haired girl. The Ultimate Gamer, Chiaki Nanami.

She yawned.

"Ah…Hello there. Do you need anything?"

"I would like to ask Saionji-san some questions."

She opened the door up and walked into the main room, calling for her roommate. The room was in complete disarray, various games, snacks, and candies lying about. We ended up sitting on the couch (having to move multiple objects), with a very pissed off Saionji.

"What the hell do you want, stupid Kouhai bi—"

"Saionji-san, I think that's enough."

She puffed her cheeks up.

"I would like to ask you a few questions about last night."

"You're the detective, right? Is there something odd about my candy? It was that moron Tsumiki who ate them. I don't need your stupid help."

(This girl makes me irritable. She's worse than Celes.)

"I'd like you to recall the events in chronological order."

Nanami raised her hand.

"I was asleep."

"No one asked you."

Nanami pouted her cheeks. (Looks like it's the pouty duo.)

"Well, I was mostly asleep, it was pretty late. When I woke up, I heard some crunching, and someone sloppily moving across our floors. God, I'm just thinking about how dirty and disgusting they were. Yuck."

"Anything else? Did they leave anything?"

"Well, besides the disgusting stench…"

"Oh, those were the Doritos I left sitting there."

Saionji stared at her roommate for a good long second before

"Um…Well…I think I heard them talking to themselves."

"Really? Interesting." I stood up abruptly. "Thank you for your time."

The culprit…The culprit.

I know who it is now.

I knocked passively on the first door I had knocked on today. Maizono cracked it open.

"Hello, Kirigiri-san. Celes isn't back yet, if you're looking fo—"

"I need you."

Maizono paused, obviously getting the wrong impression.

"W-Well…If you w-wa…Hey! Where are you going!"

I barged into her dorm and took a seat on the couch.

"Come on. Sit down."

She sat down next to me. She looked someone embarrassed but also with a twinge of confusion.

"Maizono-san."

"Yes?"

"You are the culprit."

"Huh?! Wawawawait a second. That's impossible. I was asleep when all the incidents took place."

"Exactly."

"Then how…?"

"Sleepwalking?"

"Huh?! I don't sleepwalk!"

"You did have to. The culprit was very sloppy and disorganized. Perhaps it was because they were not conscious. I remember you telling me that you needed sleep because your were anxious for your concert. Then, I found this bottle. These are sleeping pills. Even if you don't sleepwalk normally, these can definitely trigger it."

"Do you have any other evidence than that? It could be someone else."

(Who does she take me for?)

"First off, we can cancel out half the population. All the victims were female, so the culprit, if they are to sleepwalk, would stay in their dorm. Secondly, it is someone who is forced to restrain their eating habits, as each time they went for food. I don't know you too well, but I can tell you don't quite get 2000 calories. Well, now you do, anyways."

"So…It was me?"

"Yes."

"…"

"You're not going to say anything?"

Her stomach growled.

I stood up to take my leave.

"Well, now that that's all settled and done, I should be going now. There's more cases to solve."

Case

Closed.


End file.
